Most Likely to Die
Movie Review by Siobahn Harris
Well that’s time I’ll never get back. Most Likely to Die (2015) was a movie I was going to avoid it but my so called best friend, Netflix, told me it would be a good one. Damnit Netflix! I thought you knew me!
Let’s start with the synopsis to get that out of the way. There’s a 10-year high school reunion! So, gather up those hot spouses and quickly try and drop those extra pounds, because we must show how much better we’ve gotten! A group of old friends/the yearbook committee gathers together at Ray’s (Most likely to be a legend on the ice) house. Very quickly the group starts getting picked off one by one based on their personal high school superlatives. There was, most likely to have her name in lights, most likely to be a legend on the ice, most likely to get what she wants, most likely to eat anything, most likely to play the hand she’s dealt, most likely to spike the punch, most likely to have the last laugh, and one was left blank because a bitter breakup caused a girl to remove her ex-boyfriend’s fun fact. Once the bodies are discovered things get kicked into high gear with the killer chasing the group around the comically large property where, for some reason, they have no cell service and the nearest police station is 3 hours away.
Okay, so now we know what’s going on, allow me to tell you why it was so bad. The writing in this movie was poorly executed. The dialog was anything but natural and it really didn’t help that they had Perez Hilton delivering the lines. However, let’s go back to before most of the line were given. The title alone needed to be perfected, Most Likely to Die, leaves me wanting more. For instance, Most Likely to Die…what? Young? Before 30? In his mom’s basement? With no pants on? It feels very much like an unfinished statement, which didn’t bode well for the rest of the movie.
Then you have the title scene where you see the bad guy’s hands constructing the mask he wears throughout the movie. Nice touch killer, using their high school photos to build your face! However, have you never done papier-mâché when you were a kid? First, you make the mask, then you let it dry, then you cut it where it should have holes. Silly killer cutting eye holes while it was still wet!
I don’t want to take up too much of your time here, so let’s sum up all the bad things a bit quicker. You have the random eye candy that plays no purpose to the story. You have the loudest sex scene that for some reason the guy who popped in on them acts surprised to see them knocking it out of the park. You have the most impossible death scene ever! If you do decide to sit through this movie, I’m talking about the kitchen death. You have Perez Hilton making everything sound like a joke with his horrible acting skills. Honestly, the only Hilton that should be in my horror movies was the one that completely shocked me with how awesome she was, Paris Hilton in House of Wax. There were so many more, dear god why are they doing that, scenes but I don’t want to give away the farm.
Look, if you are looking for a quick fix horror movie where you will see a lovely bum and side boob action but you don’t really care about common sense, this movie will probably be pretty good for you. Let’s be honest, at least this killer had a reason, albeit not the best reason but a reason none the less. I don’t recommend you watch this movie and it is definitely not one I will ever watch again.