Happy Death Day
Movie Review by Siobahn Harris
Terrifying, Thrilling, and Twisted are all words that I would never use to describe Happy Death Day. To be honest with you, I watched this movie Thursday night and have been avoiding this review but one must push through!
Jumping right in, this movie was about a girl named Tree… Yes, a strong start but her real name is Teressa (Jessica Rothe). I’m not sure how we go from Teressa to Tree but who am I to question weird names? Anyway, Tree wakes up on her birthday in a random guy’s dorm room. He seems sweet, he jumps at her every request but she is hung over, which gives her the right to be a total bitch to him and his friend.
She then goes about her day rocking the one-night stand look all the way back to her sorority house. Along the way she blows off an activist, watches a couple get sprayed with the sprinkler system, sees a dude pass out, is startled by a car alarm, and bumps into a needy guy who she dated once. Later that night, on her way to her birthday party, she is confronted by a person wearing the school mascot mask, the battling babies… yeah, you read that right. Oi! The silent baby-faced person scares our little Tree with a death stare before flanking her and giving her a good old-fashioned stabbing.
She then wakes up to relive the same day. At first she assumes it was all a dream but quickly notices something is wrong. However, not much changes, she still ends up dead. Over and over she is forced to relive the day of her birthday and her death. What’s worse is that she can remember everything from the day before, which gives her an advantage but she must use that to discover the true killer.
Sounds cute, right? I thought so too! I was so excited to see this girl die in fun new ways but the second we bought the tickets for this movie, I saw something that made me realize it was a mistake, “PG-13”. That’s horror movie death in my book! Don’t get me wrong, a PG-13 horror movie can be awesome but the chances are very slim. Sadly, Happy Death Day fits right into that slim section.
Let’s remember people, we are looking for fear, and not just any fear, True Fear. However, you could take your kids to see Happy Death Day and they wouldn’t be scared.
Now, I did see the humor in this movie, I chuckled at certain parts, but then I was quickly brought back to how much I hate this movie when they mocked deaf people and went with a fart joke… Seriously?
They also used cheap jump scares that were partnered with loud music. Don’t try to trick my brain into thinking that you scared me! If I was standing in a quiet room and someone randomly screamed in my face, I would jump, that’s not a real scare, that’s just depressing.
To top it all off, the movie was littered with bad acting and even worse lines such as, “Stop staring at me like I took a dump on your mom’s head.” Which was one of those lines that made me say, “Come on, how old are we?” I do understand that these are supposed to be college students but these lines and jokes were things I would expect from kids in middle school.
Do you remember the trailer for this movie? Go shorty, it’s your birthday… Ahh, I love that song and I was thrilled this movie was bringing back 50 Cent. However, no song. That’s right, the trailer for this movie teased us with a song from our childhood only to slap us in the face with a random ringtone, “Heeeeyyy, it’s your birthday and you gotta pick up your phone.” Oh, the horror of it all!
This movie plays like a who-done-it but sadly, my first guess about who the killer was, was right. I was so disappointed that the movie was THAT predictable. I did find myself trying to guess the killer throughout but again, was super let down when I looked back on my notes and saw the killer’s name was the first one I wrote down.
While watching this movie, I was brought back to the movie Scream but not in a good way. It felt like this movie was trying to mimic the iconic Wes Craven slasher flick but dropped the ball and never picked it up. They used the masked killer, the who-done-it feel, and the red herring. You couldn’t figure out who was trying to kill this girl because clearly everyone wanted to kill this girl. Even me. You couldn’t figure out who had the mask because the whole school had a mask. Ugh, we get it, you’re trying to be mysterious.
Something that was nice, was watching this bitchy rich girl, who definitely had it coming, die 10 times. Now, for some reason Tree says that she died more times than that but we only get the pleasure of watching 10 of those deaths.
Nice but I really wanted to see all of those deaths. Well, we do see them, but we get the PG-13 versions of these deaths, which really ruined it for me.
I’m going to cut this short because there was so much wrong with this movie including, guns don’t run out of bullets after only three shots, the killer would never be able to break the window of a Mercedes with just their elbow, why did that HD TV sound like a fatback TV when she turned it off, why was that hospital only stocked with small sized gloves, was she just in black face, and so much more.
Please, don’t waste your money on this movie at the theater. Just wait until it is released on RedBox or Netflix or something. Unless you are looking for a wholesome, fun loving, sweet movie about finding love in any situation, then feel free to dish out the moola and watch this wolf in sheep’s clothing. No True Fear, no horror, no good.