Movie Review by Siobahn Harris
Recently, I was approached by Clarissa Jacobson, writer of Lunch Ladies and new book I Made A Short Film Now WTF Do I Do With It? She told me about a new DVD coming out that I needed to watch, Hellarious. It’s a Horror Comedy Anthology that features seven short films. I went into Hellarious thinking that if any of the shorts were like Lunch Ladies, it would be great. It was perfect.
Chapter 1: Killer Kart
I’ve actually seen this one a while back. It cracked me up. You have a group of people closing up a grocery store. Cass (played by Christine Rodriguez) is the acting manager on the worst night. While she has a group of people there to help, nothing can prepare her for what was to come. She is joined by her co-worker/boyfriend Ryan (played by Britt Michael Gordon), co-worker Bailey (played by Ella Schaefer) and long time crotchety worker Hale (played by Ray Bouchard).
The story quickly went from a normal night to crazy as shit. However, I am starting to think that it is all Cass’s fault. Everything started once she stopped for a pee break. How could you, Cass? During her suspicious pee break, things got quiet. Too quiet. There’s no Ryan, no Bailey, and no Hale. It’s only after searching that she discovers a terrified Bailey, who greeted Cass with a beautiful scream. Seriously, I would watch any film with Ella Schaefer, based on that scream alone. Cass was clearly not getting anywhere with Bailey. She continued her search and found the others dealing with their own problems. In the end, it’s up to Cass and one other to try and fight their way out, but how do you fight the impossible…and ridiculous?
While some of the dialog comes across as cheesy, I couldn’t help but to think how proud I was of this cast for giving their all in their fight against a grocery cart. Overall, the cast gave strong performances and it was really a fun watch!
Btw, that cart could hear and see where people were! That cracked me up! I would love to see this movie turn into a full length feature.
Chapter 2: Horrific
I keep wanting to say just how funny each of these movies are, but that’s pretty common knowledge considering it’s a Horror Comedy Anthology!
In this one, there is a guy just living on his own in a trailer. His place alone can tell us so much about him. For instance, he is surrounded by filth and watching a weird porn where a naked woman is hula hooping in his living room. Get it, Tex! Anyway, when he hears a noise outside he checks it out and finds his goat or maybe it’s his girlfriend.. look, I don’t know his life! But the goat is kaputsky! However, like most horror movies, in the process of checking out the sound, he let something into his house.
This is where he started to crack me up! While looking for some creature that just ran into his house and he took a second to dance to the music from his porn. After discovering what was in his house, the battle is on. He must fight to survive but will he be able to out smart it?
Oh my god, I loved this one. It was short and sweet but so much fun! I loved Tex (played by Mike Nelson) because he really got into the role. In addition, he pulled the scenes off by himself, great work!
Chapter 3: ‘Til Death
Here you have four guys just hanging out together at a bar. Brett (played by Andy Falter) , William (played by Franklin Grace), Peter (played by Patrick Walters), and Doug (played by Brian Spangler). All of the guys seem to be having problems with their wives. One isn’t attracted to his wife, another is beat up by his, and the other two seem to get bossed around a lot.
During their hangout, a joke about killing each other’s wives is brought up. But when the joke starts to sound pretty good, things get taken to another level. They all agree that they would kill each other’s wives, and after doing so, they turned to Doug to find a place to bury the bodies. Unfortunately, he picked the worst place to do it. Turns out burying your wife on cursed land isn’t the best idea! Who knew?
This one was awesome! I loved the dialog and how immature these guys were, considering what they were planning. One of my favorite conversations was between Doug and William.
Doug (to Brett): “If a woman laid a hand on me, I’d kill her.”
William: “You could just divorce her.”
Doug: “I’m no quitter.”
Loved it. I also loved the small giggle you hear when they said, “Cock your gun.” It’s those little things that really lightened the situation. So funny!
Chapter 4: Death Metal
There’s nothing like enjoying a lovely afternoon in the park, with your local heavy metal guitar player.
When a mediocre guitar player has reached his limit of people refusing to give him tips, he turns to his dad for help. Unfortunately, his dad’s tip was to use the whammy bar, but he already used the whammy bar! Luckily for Lars (played by Kirk Johnson), there is a family secret that will instantly improve his skills. His dad (played by Michael Dalmon) gives him a guitar that was given to the family, from Satan himself. There are only three simple rules he must follow, only play at night, don’t play it for money, and never EVER pretend the guitar is your dick. But Lars doesn’t bother sticking around to hear any of those rules because his adoring park fans await him. How can he resist playing the guitar the way it was clearly meant to be played? Lars quickly learns why those rules were so important.
I loved this one too! The comical amount of blood and Lars’s dad really made the film great! When it comes to Lars’s dad, he was this perfect mixture of dad just trying to help and still a kid himself. I loved watching his reaction to Lars ignoring the rules. This was such a fun watch. One that I keep watching over and over.
Chapter 5: Lunch Ladies
You already know, I LOVE Lunch Ladies! Clarissa Jacobson killed it with this one and I can’t wait to see what is in her future!
Just a quick run through, two Johnny Depp obsessed lunch ladies have had enough of their dead end job. When they receive a letter from “The Depper” himself saying that he’s interested in them becoming his personal chefs, they are ready to quit. However, they still need money to pay for the flight. Therefore, they must push through their crummy jobs to ensure they can get to Johnny. When a bitchy student pushes one of the lunch ladies too far, they have to figure out how to clean up the mess while keeping their jobs.
Everything about this film was amazing. The acting, the directing, the dialog, the location and everything else! If you would like to read my full review on Lunch Ladies, do so here. Also, if you would like to read my interview with Clarissa Jacobson and JM Logan, do so here.
Chapter 6: Bitten
This film is not one that I would call a horror or a comedy. So, I was a little confused about why it was on this DVD. However, that doesn’t mean that I didn’t like it. I actually thought it was very cute, just out of place.
When a woman’s dog gets into a fight outside at night, she takes him in and patches up his wounds. Thankfully, Iggy (played by Iggy-Pup) seems to be okay after the altercation. His owner (played by Francine Torres) refuses to give Iggy chicken, even though he was injured! This lady is a monster! Sorry about that. Let’s just move forward. So, the woman goes out to find a man, yanno, that same woman who wouldn’t give Iggy chicken, I mean come on, look at that face! Sorry! Sorry! Okay. While she was out on the town, Iggy starts acting strange.
Soon Iggy has a surprising transformation, and the first thing he does is get some chicken. You enjoy that Iggy! While Iggy enjoyed himself that night, his owner came home to the surprising transformation. Soon, they both were enjoying their evening. However, the aftershock of that night is one that will live on in that household forever.
Like I said before, I don’t see this one as horror or comedy, so that threw me off. But I did think it was very cute. It was an idea I would have never thought of writing, and one I had never heard before. I think the actors were great and I really enjoyed it!
Chapter 7: Born Again
Here you have five people with one goal, summon Lucifer. Seems simple enough. All you need is a full group of people, masks to set the mood, chants, the special book for the leader to read from, and someone willing to birth Lucifer. Unfortunately for this group, they decided to invite their friend Greg (played by Randall Greenland) to help them. Let me just take a minute to say, Greg, you are perfect, don’t let anyone tell you differently. Greg was late, he didn’t know the chants, and as you can see from the poster, he brought his own type of mask. In a ceremony like this one, everything needs to be perfect. However, one little mistake ruins everything. The result of their silly mistake leaves them with a very unexpected consequence.
Yes. Yes. Yes! I LOVED this one! Along side Lunch Ladies, this is one of my favorite short horror films. What’s really fun about it is that there are two people in this film that are also in ‘Til Death, Tiffany Kiely and Brian Spangler. I love seeing people branch out like that because it allows us to see different sides of them. This one was funny from start to finish and it’s the one I can’t stop reciting lines from, which makes it even better. “…but they were the 60 inchers, which aren’t heavy but their awkward.”
This DVD is such an awesome compilation of Horror Comedy short films. Jason Tostevin was able to gather the best of the best and give them to you in one location, which works for me because I am always looking for great horror shorts! Thankfully, the DVD is now available for Pre-order! Be sure to get yours in time for Halloween. Here is what Jason Tostevin had to say about it, “There are scary stories, eww moments that will make you squirm, and even some weirdly sweet moments. And of course, they’re all absolutely hysterical.”
Also, be sure to watch Clarissa Jacobson’s short – A Very Important Film which will be included in the special features section of the DVD! It shows the journey of Clarissa as she discovers what’s truly important and ponders how she missed it before. No worries, it’s nothing like Lunch Ladies, no no, this one is VERY important!